The Comeback Series
My morning routine since March has been pretty much the same - wake up and journal. I’ve never experienced comfort like I have in these pages. Putting my thoughts,fears, emotions, dreams, and visions to paper in a consistent manner has changed me. These entries aren't Dear Diary - I hope the boy with the great hair likes me. Instead, these are my soul baring entries that highlight my struggles or challenges and hold a place for my accomplishments. These pages are where I speak the “universe” and ask for guidance.
These pages hold a space for me to write without judgement or reservation, a place for me to turn when the world (my world) feels a little unsteady. This morning as I was sitting on the “yellow chair”, it’s a chair that was my grandmothers and has made its way into numerous photo shoots over the year, I wrote the word comeback. The word flowed through me with such ease.
Comeback…that’s exactly what this current phase or season of my life is. A massive comeback to finding me and setting the tone for the next 5 to 10 years. I truly feel like a character in a movie who is facing the choice between digging in and giving it all they have or simply giving up.
Have you ever seen a movie where someone gave up? Yeah… me either. We live for the comeback story.
My knock down moment is that I f’d up. I let my world get messy and muddy with how I thought things should be rather than embracing how things WERE and changing what I could. I let other people’s bullsh*t get into my head, I stopped doing what made me happy and anxiety struck. When anxiety hit, my world as I knew it crashed around me. My days were spent in bed, my pounding and racing heart had me up all night, and when I wanted to feel better I turned to food. And, I let the one thing that made me feel like a badass collect dust, our home gym.
Welcome to my comeback story.
I’ve stopped the nasty prescription meds by cycling them to a lower dose to now being three weeks without (allow me to mention that this was not decided upon by my doctor - I made this choice 100% on my own).
I am committed to movement - I missed the gym, yesterday was day 1 and my body feels it.
I am using food as fuel rather than comfort - our meal prep is starting back up today with a focus on whole foods like we’ve eaten in the past with great success.
I’m more focused on re-inventing my creative businesses [coaching & photography] than ever before because I know for a fact, there are plenty of other creatives who could write a similar story and if I don’t take this leap my creative soul will always remain restless.
I’m opening up and baring my soul just like I have been in the pages of my journal.
Raise your green smoothie, give me a virtual high five or fist bump because the comeback starts now.